One-Liners - Quotes - Quips
How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.
~ Anne Frank ~
The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.
~ Chinese proverb ~
It is not the magnitude of our actions but the amount of love that is put into them that matters.
~ Mother Teresa ~
Success will not lower its standard to us. We must raise our standard to success.
~ Rev. Randall R. McBride Jr. ~
Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into but hard to get out of.
Better to be approximately right then precisely wrong.
If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labour!
The block of granite which was an obstacle in the pathway of the weak,
became a stepping-stone in the pathway of the strong.
~ Thomas Carlyle ~
You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.
~ Desmond Tutu, “God Has a Dream: A Vision of Hope for Our Time” ~
A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
~ Sir John Bowring, “Matins and Vespers” ~
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
~ Ogden Nash, “Family Reunion” ~
There can be hope only for a society which acts as one big family, not as many separate ones.
~ Anwar el-Sadat, former president of Egypt ~
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works, is the family.
~ Lee Iacocca, “Talking Straight” ~
"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God,
then we will be a nation gone under."
~ Ronald Reagan ~
If my heart could do my thinking and my head begin to feel,
I would look upon the world anew, and know what's truly real.
~ Van Morrison ~
Kindness is the language the blind can see and the deaf can hear.
"If there is righteousness in the heart, there will be beauty in the character;
if there is beauty in the character, there will be harmony in the home;
if there is harmony in the home, there will be order in the nation;
and where there is order in the nation, there is peace in the world."
(Ancient Chinese Proverb)
Eat when you're hungry.
Drink when you're thirsty.
Sleep when you're tired.
Behold the turtle.
He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.
(James Bryant Conant)
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
(Frank Outlaw )
Books are the carriers of civilisation.
Without books, history is silent, literature dumb, science crippled, thought and speculation at a standstill.
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served
the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
"A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it."
(George Moore, Irish novelist, 1852-1933)
"The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the wall of our own homes."
(Harold B. Lee, American religious leader, 1899-1973)
"Remember -- all truth passes through three stages.
First, it is ridiculed.
Second, it is violently opposed.
Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."
(A. Schopenhauer, 1788 - 1860)
"We must use time as a tool, not as a couch." (President John F. Kennedy)
The only time Success comes before Work is in the dictionary.
Nothing great has ever been accomplished without stretching yourself.
I still believe that one day mankind will bow before the altars of God
and be crowned triumphant over war and bloodshed,
and nonviolent redemptive goodwill will proclaim the rule of the land.
Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (Nobel Prize Acceptance Speech, Dec 1964)
God whispers to us in our pleasures,
speaks in our conscience,
but shouts in our pain:
it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world
(C. S. Lewis)
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more
than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
In modern society the opposite of courage is not cowardice; it is conformity (Rollo May)
Millions saw the apple fall but Newton was the one who asked why (Bernard Baruch)
If you think, education is expensive, try ignorance.
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk I have a work station....
Truth cannot be sacrificed at the altar of a pretended tolerance.
Real tolerance is deference to all ideas, not indifference to the truth.
I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead?"
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driving licenses of bald men?
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
I have found at my age, going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of my face.
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older.
Then it dawned on me - they were cramming for their finals.
Employment application blanks always ask, who is to be notified in case of emergency?
I think you should write "A very good doctor!"
To be a captain is more than just wearing a cap and sporting a tan..... (fmk)
Don't limit your challenges, challenge your limits.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going (heard in Canada)
Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
The skydiving instructor was going through the question and answer period
with his new students when one of them asked the usual question always asked,
"If our chute doesn't open; and the reserve doesn't open,
how long do we have til we hit the ground?"
The jump instructor answered, "The rest of your life."
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposite things?
A man who eats many prunes gets a good run for his money.
The best way to escape from a problem is to solve it.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Some days you are the dog; some days you are the hydrant.
It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
It's not because things are hard that we don't dare them;
it's because we don't dare them that they are hard - (Seneca)
Though men are brothers, their pockets are not sisters (Turkish proverb)
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have:
the older she gets, the more interested he is in her (Agatha Christie)
Don't underestimate love at first sight,
many of us might not pass a second inspection.
A simple person's response to today's media and the world of advertising:
Don't believe Anyone, Anything, Anytime, Anyplace, Anyhow, Anyway (fmk)
Technological advance sometimes seems like take-no-logical advance (fmk)
Never be afraid to try something new:
"Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic".
Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed,
or a project failed, and who was responsible.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, poops over everything and then leaves.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream
only to get screwed and die in the end.
An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count,
leaving the brass with clean hands.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.
Laughing stock - cattle with a sense of humor.
Life is what happens to you while you are making other plans.
The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.
What's the plural of News? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Nuisance!" (fmk)
Love May Be Blind, But Marriage Is a Real Eye Opener
If You Really Want Breakfast in Bed, Sleep in the Kitchen!
If at First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't for You
Don't Treat Me Any Differently Than You Would the Queen
Veni, Vedi, Visa: I Came, I Saw, I Did a Little Shopping
Modern music - for the sound of it - should be spelled "Mew sick" (fmk)
(Some of it sounds worse then the mewing of a sick cat)
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe
He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and
blamed it on the cost of living.
Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
The 50-50-90 rule:
Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right,
there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
You can't have everything, where would you put it?
Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school:
"If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school,
I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home."
Somebody has well said there are only two kinds of people in the world.
There are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good morning, Lord,” and
there are those who wake up in the morning and say, ”Good Lord, it’s morning.”
Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the heck happened.
~ Cora Harvey Armstrong ~
Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out.
But I can usually shut her up with cookies.
(Great Quotes by Great Ladies!)
"YOU don't have to get it right, YOU just have to get it going."
~ Michael Bloomberg ~
Deciding to commit yourself to long-term results rather than short term fixes
is as important as any decision you'll make in your lifetime.
~ Anthony Robbins, speaker and author ~
The introduction of feedback to any system will elevate that system to a higher level of functioning.
~ Dr. James Hardt ~